Q: If a man gets a boner, what do women get?
A man gets a boner when he is sexually excited. This can be brought on my touching, observing, and sometimes even just thinking sexy thoughts. When a man gets a boner he, and whoever is watching, can usually tell that he is aroused. Once a man sees that he has a boner, the sight of it then makes him more turned on, causing him to become even more sexually aroused. This is what is called the reinforcement theory: guy gets excited, he gets a boner, because he has a boner, he gets more excited and his boner gets “harder”.
Women are different. We do not get “boners”. What happens to women is a little different. When women become turned on, a number of things happen:
- Her vuvla (the inside of your vagina) starts to moisten, preparing you for sex;
- Her clitoris starts to swell (this is the most erotically sensitive part of your body- get to know it!);
- The inside of her vulva also starts to lengthen, preparing her body for the possible entry of a penis (toy/object/finger);
- Lastly, her labia (the lips of the vaginal opening) also start to swell.
Because we cannot physically see that our body is getting excited, sometimes it’s harder to realize that you are aroused. Exploring yourself and trying out what feels good to you will help you begin to realize when you are turned on. It can be a skill, one that does not come without practice. Go explore! Be attentative, patient, forgiving and have fun!